Jan 1, 2013


Sometimes, I am overflowing with the desire to write.  My mind feels alive, and my stomach dances with excited anticipation.  There is something so liberating about opening up my laptop with just the quiet of the night ahead of me.  And yet, this vast expanse of opportunity suddenly sucks me in, and I sit, waiting apprehensively with my fingers positioned on my keyboard, lightly rubbing the bumps on the f and j key as if they will somehow stimulate my fingers to type.

Even now, as I sit to write this blog, the word evades me of what I am experiencing.  Emptiness?  No.  Road block?  Ah...writer's block.  I've got it big time, but I'm already sitting here, desperately wanting a piece that will inspire, or take me away on an intense journey.

I've come to know my style of writing, and it's really not that impressive.  I read the works of others, and I am simply blown away.  How did they choose that gorgeous word?  How is it that their sentences are so flowing, so meaningful, and so witty?  It's almost as if I'm comparing my mirror image to theirs.  I know that everyone speaks differently, thinks differently, and writes differently.  But shouldn't my own writing leave me breathless?

It doesn't matter how many creative writing classes I take, I'll never get to where I want to be unless I read.  And that's my problem.  I immerse myself in the lazy realm of television, demanding to be entertained and enriched when in reality, I'm rotting.  I want to write, but I'm too lazy to read.  I don't want to sit and read what others have created; I want to become the creator.  I want to find in my books that cold, dark, dusty castle that I can wander around in.  I want to meet the ghosts that others have met, I want to laugh the way others have laughed.  But for right now, all I can write about is the life I know, the thoughts I think, and the experiences that I wake to live.

There's a million things that I should be doing right now, like dishes, laundry, or picking up the toys that I'm pretty sure a tornado dragged across  my house.  I should change my sheets, hang the towels, and pick up that dumb plastic bag that I threw outside with the kitty litter and poop inside.  But I don't want to.  I'm sitting here, typing, praying that an idea will spark, and that I'll go to bed feeling satisfied with myself, as if I finally managed to do something productive today.

Writer's block is a painful symptom to have, especially on nights like this when the desire to create is overwhelming, but I'm helplessly staring at the blank white page.  Am I trying too hard?  Is there really nothing worth writing about?  I guess it's like going on a walk with no purpose.  You don't get anywhere until you start moving.  Maybe that's my problem.  Maybe just typing, getting my fingers moving, getting my brain thinking is the beginning I need to fill up my empty page.


  1. I hear you! I usually hate my writing the most right after I've written it. It always needs real space (i.e., time) before I can start to see it honestly. Funny how powerful the inner-critic can be. But don't give up. Even if you're not writing something in particular, even if you're not working on a "project", keep putting words on the page. You already know that writers don't write because they want to, they write because they have to.

  2. Kimmie, Trena is right. It's good to keep your creative juices flowing every day. There is a site I LOVE!! creativewritingprompts.com
    There are 346 different writing prompts you can choose from in order to break through blocks. Some of them are stupider than heck. Others are reallyreally good.
    In high school, Mrs. Bean used to have us write stream-of-consciousness. It was just writing down EXACTLY what was coming into your head at the moment. It didn't matter if it was nonsensical or vulgar or boring or what. The point was to just writeandwriteandwrite. It is totally nonsensical at first, but then your mind starts to slow down and it's like you hit on something that your mind has been "hiding" from you and then it starts flooding you like a dam. You find the subject that your body needs to write about and LOTS of good, therapeutic writing can come from that!!! I use it a LOT. And I let myself be as vulgar and honest as I want to be and nobody has to see it. It is VERY cleansing and healing. OR it can open up a really REALLY great door and you can write some fantastic stuff!!
    You're doing great, Kimmie. Don't get frustrated and stop doing this, because you are REALLY talented.

  3. ALSO, another exercise I have done before was to write with your dominant hand to ask yourself a question, and then use your non-dominant hand to answer it. I think I read that a therapist had used that with a client. It is so bizarre, because when I did it, when I started writing with my non-dominant (left) hand, all of this bizarre stuff came out. You are accessing different parts of your brain and are able to create in a different "voice". If you try it, you'll have to let me know what you think of it!