I always laugh every time I come across a place where I've mentioned a goal I had in mind, because frankly, I religiously flop at goals. I am not a goal setter. I hate goals, I hate the pressure of achieving them, and I hate the words "goal" and "achieve." I swear something from my youth must have turned me off to them.
Committing myself to doing something has always terrified me. I can't stand the pressure, knowing that I told someone I'd do something, or be somewhere. I get stressed out over the simplest things, such as planning on going out with friends, or even planning ahead when to go grocery shopping. While I love having plans, I hate having commitments. I've turned into a spur-of-the-moment kind of person. Maybe having kids does that, with the last minute diaper explosions, sudden meltdowns because naps didn't get taken at the typical times, and everything else that always seems to come up when you've got four little boys.
One of my goals I came across was to write every day. Ha. I try to work from home every day, I try to exercise every day, I try to do something every day, but something always seems to take higher priority...like watching TV. Yeah. It's always TV. Maybe I should make a goal to watch TV every day. If I can do it, then I will have achieved a goal. Win. If I fail, that means I've done something productive. Another win. So there we have it: I plan on watching TV every day. If that's not a lofty goal, I don't know what is.
One of my many unreachable goals is to get healthier. I tend to start exercising, then a few days later, give up, because I don't want to do it anymore. I've started this diet, and the only thing that got me through it was what my husband told me. "Don't do it because you think you have to. Do it because you say you're going to." I can't believe how much that has empowered me! Saying I HAVE to do something puts me in the hands of fate, as if I'm a prisoner, and I look for any way possible to escape. Saying that I'm GOING to do something gives ME the power. There's no pressure, but self-determination. I've made it 12 days so far, with a ten pound loss. Yes, I have been overpowered by temptation (throwing away a HAMBURGER, cheese, chocolate and tater tots that my kids refused to eat), but because I'm going to get healthy, I have had the power to overcome it.
My diet isn't a restriction. It's a cleansing. I'm taking better care of myself, and slowly, I'm becoming stronger with every little victory that I achieve. By taking away the commitment of dieting and replacing it with a willingness to improve myself, it has given me the power to stick with it. Nothing is more powerful than the words, "I WILL!"