Jun 6, 2011

Kids Say the Darndest Things

I've been collecting some quotes my children have said, and I am amazed at how absolutely hilarious my young children can be!

Jacob (4 years old):

“I have a frog in my throat. What kind of frog is it? A boy? A girl?”

“Mommy! If you don’t put your seatbelt on, a policeman will take you out and spank you!”

Mommy: “Good night, four-year-old! I love you.”
Jacob: “Good night, big girl Mommy!”

“You’re welcome, Mom, for doing that!”

“I have bones inside that make me really good talking.”

Mommy: “You’re my special Jacob.”
Jacob: “Did the other Jacob break?”

Jacob: “Stupid cat!”
Daddy: “Don’t say that word. It’s naughty.”
Jacob: “Oh, only Mommy can say it?”

“When I get bigger, I’m going to buy a girl costume, and I’m going to marry myself!”

“Mom, I sneezed again! What do you saaayyy?”

“So…how’s it doing, Mom?” (trying to make small talk)

“When I get bigger, will my ears fall out and I’ll get bigger ears?”

“Bye, Daddy! Have a good dream at work today!”

(Jacob was rubbing his nose with his finger) Mommy: Do you need to blow your nose?
Jacob: Nah. I'm just playing the violin.

Gabriel (3 years old):

“I don’t want a hug or a kiss…you can just kiss my hand.”

“Don’t kiss my owie! You’ll get an owie on your face.”

Mommy: “How did you get so strong? Did you eat your vegetables?”
Gabriel: “Oh, no. I ate my popcorn!”

Gabriel: “Can I have more marshmallows?”
Mommy: “No, that’s too much sugar.”
Gabriel: “Can I have more sugar?”

“Oh! Don’t kiss my hand! I’ll put hand sanitizer on your kissing!”

Jacob: “Who are you going to marry?”
Gabriel: “Ummm…I’m going to marry Grandpa Frye!”
Jacob: “You can’t marry Grandpa Frye! He’s a boy!”
Gabriel: “Then I no get married!”

Jacob: “Mommy, how tall are you?”
Mommy: “I’m five feet, six inches.”
Gabriel: “I have five feet, too!”

Mommy: “Let me clean your hand.”
Gabriel: “I was washing it with my tongue!”

“I look like a monkey when I got undressed!”

“Are you Mommy, Mom?”

Jacob: “Mommy is asleep.”
Gabriel: “No, her head is awake!”

Gabriel: “You make me sooo mad!”
Jacob: “I’m mad, too!”
Gabriel: “Then I’m not mad. I’m happy.”

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