Gabriel (to Daddy, who squashed a mosquito): “Are you petting the mosquito?”
Jacob (to Caleb, who's learning to say sounds):
“Say guh.”
Caleb: “Guh.”
Jacob: “Say juh.”
Caleb: “Duh-duh.”
Jacob: “Say microwave!”
Mommy (hiding and jumping out at Jacob): “Boo!”
Jacob (jumping): “You
didn’t scare me. I just bounced up for
fun. I was trying to see past you.”
Jacob: “Why, instead
of graduation hats, were they ingenious hats?”
Gabriel: “Are
giraffes made of meat?”
Mommy: “Yes.”
Gabriel: “Then why
are they yellow?”
Gabriel: “So, after
garbage gets taken to the dump, the garbage turns to newspaper?”
Jacob (talking about Christ's manger): “All the animals live there, except for
bats. And vampires.”
Jarod (watching movie on Christ’s resurrection and seeing
nail prints in His hands): “Jesus need
Band-aid?”
Gabriel: “I hope
Santa gives me a hook for Christmas so I can cut off my hand.”
Jacob (hugging Mommy):
“Your hair smells like a dirty diaper!
You need to wash it.”
Mommy (to Jacob, who’s fanning himself): “Are you hot?”
Jacob: “No, it help
me not be tired anymore. When I swish
myself, it gets me smarter.”
Gabriel: “Is there
whirlpools in our necks?”
Mommy: “No.”
Gabriel: “Then how
come our food goes down to our tummy?”
Gabriel (watching Mommy put on eyeliner): “Does that make you see better?”
Gabriel: “Is one
throat a yelling throat? Do we have
three throats? One is a breathing
throat, one is a cereal throat, and one is a yelling throat.”
(Mommy was explaining necks to Jarod)
Jarod (looking down shirt):
“Go? Where neck?”
Jacob (examining hands):
“Am I glued together?”
Jacob: “Belly buttons
don’t talk, right?”
Jacob (asking about T-ball):
“Will there be any older kids?”
Mommy: “No, T-ball is
only for 5-year olds and 6-year olds.
Jacob: “How about any
tall-year-olds?”
Mommy: “Did you brush
your teeth?”
Gabriel: “Yes.”
Mommy: “Let me smell
your breath…Gabe! You didn’t brush.”
Gabriel: “I drank
some water, and my breath went into my tummy.”
Jarod (pulling on head):
“My head’s stuck! Can you take
off my head?”
Mommy: “Jacob, will
you bless the food?”
Gabriel: “What?! He said the blessing tomorrow!”
Gabriel: “What’s in
the bag?”
Mommy: “Carrot
skins.”
Gabriel: “So are
carrots alive since they have skin?”
Mommy: “Did you write
‘hi’ on the bathroom wall?”
Jacob: “No. I never learned it in school.”
Gabriel: “I did it.”
Jacob: “That’s not
fair! He’s smarter than me! No, I’m just joking. I’ve got more brains than him because I go to
school.”
And this was my all-time favorite:
Jacob: “After I go pee, I’m making a fairy house. I just love fairies.”
