Life from a child's view

Over the past year, I've collected hilarious things that my children have said.  I thought it might be fun to share some of these.  Jacob was 6, Gabriel was 5, and Jarod was 3.

Gabriel (to Daddy, who squashed a mosquito):  “Are you petting the mosquito?”

Jacob (to Caleb, who's learning to say sounds):  “Say guh.”

Caleb:  “Guh.”

Jacob:  “Say juh.”

Caleb:  “Duh-duh.”

Jacob:  “Say microwave!”

Mommy (hiding and jumping out at Jacob):  “Boo!”

Jacob (jumping):  “You didn’t scare me.  I just bounced up for fun.  I was trying to see past you.”

Jacob:  “Why, instead of graduation hats, were they ingenious hats?”

Gabriel:  “Are giraffes made of meat?”

Mommy:  “Yes.”

Gabriel:  “Then why are they yellow?”

Gabriel:  “So, after garbage gets taken to the dump, the garbage turns to newspaper?”

Jacob (talking about Christ's manger):  “All the animals live there, except for bats.  And vampires.”

Jarod (watching movie on Christ’s resurrection and seeing nail prints in His hands):  “Jesus need Band-aid?”

Gabriel:  “I hope Santa gives me a hook for Christmas so I can cut off my hand.”

Jacob (hugging Mommy):  “Your hair smells like a dirty diaper!  You need to wash it.”

Mommy (to Jacob, who’s fanning himself):  “Are you hot?”

Jacob:  “No, it help me not be tired anymore.  When I swish myself, it gets me smarter.”

Gabriel:  “Is there whirlpools in our necks?”

Mommy:  “No.”

Gabriel:  “Then how come our food goes down to our tummy?”

Gabriel (watching Mommy put on eyeliner):  “Does that make you see better?”

Gabriel:  “Is one throat a yelling throat?  Do we have three throats?  One is a breathing throat, one is a cereal throat, and one is a yelling throat.”

(Mommy was explaining necks to Jarod)

Jarod (looking down shirt):  “Go?  Where neck?”

Jacob (examining hands):  “Am I glued together?”

Jacob:  “Belly buttons don’t talk, right?”

Jacob (asking about T-ball):  “Will there be any older kids?”

Mommy:  “No, T-ball is only for 5-year olds and 6-year olds.

Jacob:  “How about any tall-year-olds?”

Mommy:  “Did you brush your teeth?”

Gabriel:  “Yes.”

Mommy:  “Let me smell your breath…Gabe!  You didn’t brush.”

Gabriel:  “I drank some water, and my breath went into my tummy.”

Jarod (pulling on head):  “My head’s stuck!  Can you take off my head?”

Mommy:  “Jacob, will you bless the food?”

Gabriel:  “What?!  He said the blessing tomorrow!”

Gabriel:  “What’s in the bag?”

Mommy:  “Carrot skins.”

Gabriel:  “So are carrots alive since they have skin?”

Mommy:  “Did you write ‘hi’ on the bathroom wall?”

Jacob:  “No.  I never learned it in school.”

Gabriel:  “I did it.”

Jacob:  “That’s not fair!  He’s smarter than me!  No, I’m just joking.  I’ve got more brains than him because I go to school.”

And this was my all-time favorite:

Jacob:  “After I go pee, I’m making a fairy house.  I just love fairies.”